stress out and worn out.

cepatlah cuti raya..but cuti is never gonna be cuti anymore..and raya will never be the same as it was before..

do you know how it feels like when your circles are too hard working?it drags me to do the same but of course WITHOUT sincerity..so everything won't be the same as it was before..i feel the ache in the heart..and making it worst, i can't spill out what is running through my head..

i feel like i am not being myself lately..the guilt is always there as my circles are too hard-a** RAJIN!i don't feel free to do what i like as im always dragged and forced to do something which is not regularly done..ish can you understand me??

im not the kind of girl who starts of something..be it anything,not even a conversation with strangers.i need something to trigger me and be the catalyst..do not expect me to brag about something to someone im not close with..i wont start anything except if the other party starts first..then i'll get along with the flow and i would rather say i will cope well..

like i said before,i dont usually starts of something..not even a conversation,what else with the relationship..i mean with the opposite sex..call me anything you want to,but still i think, guys should start it up..not us the girls..we have our own pride.if he wants to,then he will..so i rest my case!

can you mind your own business?

ok tak faham English?meh sini nk translate,

jangan sibuk hal orang boleh tak?

there are things rolling hard in my mind..sometimes it feels like i am not being my true self whenever i am around him..i tend to please him in every way possible which i think i should not..i am not living to his expectation and not to anyone else's too..there are just 'things' running through me,leaving myself to figure things out of how to get rid of it..sometimes i feel it is more convenient for me to rant things to total strangers who appear in my life once and probably never will meet again..i feel more reserved as i am quite sure that the chances for them to dig things out again is very very ultra-thin..

i try not to tell personal things to my circles but i usually failed.i wanted so much to be more reserved and modest for not telling people what i feel..but anyway, theres just this one person i can spill out every single thing about how i feel on certain things especially this love-struck thingy..i somehow dont like how i feel right now..i guess the respect that i put on him grew to like and the like grew to errr, LOVE? ah, i dont know myself either.

i turned out liking him more than i originally planned.

please please please count your blessings..be thankful of what you have,for who you are now..it really drive my nerves hearing ungrateful people complaining about their features and all..dont you ever forget that Allah created us in variety of shapes and sizes..as long as we are healthy and able to obligate the Holly Creator, the features are never really a problem..

its a bonus to have perfect features but in this life,theres no such thing as PERFECT!everybody has flaws..people's perceptions are different, thats why Allah created us differently on the first place :))

i dont know why i dont feel like writing these past few weeks..not than i dont have anything to write,but i just dont know how to put them into words..i'd like to express what i feel, but i dont feel like blog is the right place to scribble out things..before,it was..but now not anymore..people like to make fuss out of things..if i write about what i feel towards someone, the thing will be bragged and eventually they would toy me up with those i wrote in blog and make fun of it..i guess i gotta prepare my own old version of diary with big fat lock on it..