let the background be black and dull and gloom..as gloomy as my heart is rite now..i know i always complain about how pathetic my life is..but the complaints are just plain truth..the truth that i have to face..the truth that i have to conquer before they conquer my life..i always wanted everything..everything that i cant even reach..something that is beyond the limit..i need that everything..but i am totally broke..but this life isnt just about money..money is not just the thing..though money is mostly everything..sometimes,i feel like screaming and dancing in the rain,but being rational me,i still have pride and shame towards others..but giving it a second thought,why cant i do the thing that i love at the first place?life is just like a circle with no ending and no beginning..i always know what i want in life..but theres always something that stop me from doing the thing that i love..my passion..and being nabilah sharipudin,i always down on my knees,doing the thing that people say thats the best thing for me to do..why didnt i have the strength to at least say NO?even if i cant say 'i dont want to'..why cant i say NO with firm?why am i losing my grip?im totally hopeless and helpless..