my life has turned up side down for the past few days.my mind is not really at the state of normal..the thought of him keeps bothering my nights..i dont know why but i keep relating things i do or things i saw with him..everything i see through my days are always related to him or things i've done with him..i feel like knocking my head on the wall so that the thought is gone, but i know it never will.what has gotten into me,really? i dont like this kind of things..i can even relate random cars i saw on the road with him.oi,this is bullshit!i hope this weird feelings will fade soon. yes, the sooner the better.im tired of thinking about him to my sleep..

td belek2 folder gmbar yg ada dekat dalam external..lps tu terjumpak gmbar zaman part 3 UiTM..ok tu zaman paling rindu sekali..zaman rempit naik moto dari arau smpai kangar semata-mata nk makan kfc sbb kfc xdak lg dekat arau time tu..n of course lah bukan aku yg merempit sbb aku ni penakut bawak moto walaupun ada lesen..aku pon tak faham mcm mana aku lulus lesen moto dgn sekali test saja..HAHA..mesti laa my dear shafiqah yg rempit.aku naik blakang je..hehehe..rempit bersama skuter ego KCS warna merah!sanggup rempit smpai ke kangar semata-mata nak makan je..lepastu msa the first ever SECRET RECIPE in PERLIS bukak dkt kangar pon kami rempit jugak just to eat chocolate lava!!gila tak gila..sanggup rempit about 20 minutes just to eat!ohh rindunyaaaaa zaman naik moto dulu2..

ok dah.tu je nk ckp sebenarnya.tp malu nk ckp depan2..hik hik hik *sepak muke sendiri.kbye

lately i feel soooooo freaking lonely i dont even know why..i dont talk much nowadays..i can even count how many words i spoke on a particular day..i dont feel like talking and that freaks the hell out of me!!i am more to typing like what I AM DOING right now!!i spill almost every single thing i feel about anything on twitter and facebook and this blog too..i even connect with my friends through the net..who is to blame on this matter?am i becoming anti-social due to being toooooooooooo attached to social network sites??

bila dekat rumah ada wifi and masing2 terperuk dlm bilik masing2 tak keluar2 dah unless for food,mcmni laa jadinya..ckp dgn mak hari2 pon boleh kira dgn jari berapa patah perkataan yg keluar daripada mulut ni..haih..i dont want this to happen.like seriously, i dont want!i want my life like what i had when i was small, when i was in school, when i was with my friends living under the same roof..i dont like being who i am today.seriously i dont!

my current life revolves around no one but myself, my sister and my parents..the only time i communicate with my mom is when we are in the car, either me fetching her from school or whenever she asked me to bring her somewhere she wanted to..as for my dad, xpayah ckp laa..mmg plg byk ckp pon time nk suruh aku bangun pagi n breakfast ja..n ptg2 time dia nk suruh aku sapu smpah or beli makanan..tu jaa..kakak aku yg sorang tu,LAGIIILAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA susah even nk tgk muka pon..balik kerja terus terperuk dlm bilik..hmm me? the rest of time is spent in my room..kalau tak online, baca novel..lps mgrb,terus duduk dlm bilik tak keluar2 dh smpai esok pg pulak!

thats how pathetic my life is right now..tp bersyukur sbb masih lagi bernafas ni bumi tuhan ni..ALHAMDULILLAH..xsabar nk tunggu mak cuti sekolah sbb boleh p jalan2 so that i can communicate with REAL people..not virtually like i always did nowadays!!i want my normal life back, please!

i seriously don't know how to put this into words..i don't know since when it struck but it did struck and never wanted to leave..even if it leaves, the scars will always be there..

insyaALLAH

it is such a happy happy happy news and i am soooooooo freaking happy for my cousin as she was offered to pursue her degree in ACCA from Dublin School of Business..alhamdulillah.i am so proud  of her but at the same time, i am sooooo freaking envious!she is of my age and just finished her diploma in accounting in kolej universiti insaniah,just an ordinary college but mungkin Allah bagi rezeki kt dia, and Allah bukak jalan untuk dia ke overseas..Alhamdulillah for her..

TAPI, a big fat massive disappointment for me as i was a bit late to fill the forms to several uni overseas sbb kebanyakkannya dah smpai deadline..xpa, mungkin kalau aku yg dpt pergi sana, maybe aku tak boleh survive alone..iman pon xberapa nak tebal mana, jd mungkin Allah tak bg rezeki untuk ke sana lg sebab aku belum bersedia mental,fizikal,emosi dan yg paling penting IMAN belum penuh di dada..siapa tau kalau aku dpt kesana sekarang, mungkin aku tak boleh score or jd terpesong (Nauzubillah hi min zalik) kan? insyaAllah Allah maha pemurah Ya Rahman Ya Rahim, mungkin rezeki aku datang dlm bentuk lain..mungkin Allah simpan untuk alam pekerjaan nanti..atau, rezeki dari segi suami mithali mungkin..siapa kita to predict these kind of rezeki kan? insyaAllah, put your trust on HIM..you have HIM even if you never obey HIM..rezeki, jodoh, ajal maut semua tu rahsia ALLAH..so PRAY AND NEVER STOP PRAYING!

it's already MAY..cepat betul masa jalan kan?sedar tak sedar,dah sebulan lebih aku duduk rumah doing nothing..wasting my time almost doing nothing but online..as i said before,bukan takmau kerja..nk kerja tp rsa mcm berat nk kerja sbb kalau kerja nnt my time will be limited..aku rsa smua org mcm aku kan?x suka kena kongkong and can't do what you WANT to do..betul tak??dah penat fikir pasal bnda ni..tak jugak selesai selesai..tp at least, i've make my move..dh try jual online..tp baru sikit je customer..tp syukurlah kan drpda takdak lgsung..hmm bnda ni kan takes time?hopefully lama2 nnt terjual laa smua bnda2 yg aku nk jual tu kan?insyaallah, kalau nawaitu ikhlas,ALLAH permudahkan jalan kan??insyaallah!!hwaiting nabilah!!