you know,one thing for sure is that i will be there on my own.

yes on my own.on my own bare feet and bare hands.

i want mine to be like this

my ever mr wonderman ;))

dorky me

When im all alone and have plenty of time to think of anything,the feeling of total obnoxious of my own self strikes.i will look down on myself.inferiority complex strikes.i am totally not confident of my own self.i have a roomate who sings very very well and dance well too.me?dont u ever ask!i am tone deaf.i dont sing well and u’ll wish for a thunderstorm rather than listening me sing.dance?thats another thing i am very bad at.real bad i tell you!despite i cant sing,i dont play any musical instrument too.i cant barely strum a guitar or play the piano.what else with the wind instruments and everything.

Second is i always have issues with my hair.for as long as i lived,i sometimes dont like my hair.well not sometimes,you can consider it as ALWAYS.FYI,i constantly changed my hairstyle until i decided to stop when i enter university.i dont have those silky straight hair and trust me,my hair is a disaster.i always envy those with straight and silky hair that shines under the sun.at some point,i do think of chopping off my hair and be bald.

Talking of physical attraction,kick me out first baby because i am on top from the bottom of the list!i dont have those mesmerising eyes or perfectly cute nose.all i have is pimples all over my face.i wear specks since i am in primary school and u know how fugly i was that time.i am all jealous with my friends with the perfect body all ladies want in their life.i’ve never been skinny all my life.tell me i crazy or what but sometimes i do feel like never wanna go out of the room when inferiority is on the peak.

Ok shut the fuck up with the physical attraction thingy.lets talk about education.well im thankfull enough of my upbringing where education is being the most prior thing in life.but i am not a brainy one compared to my friends.and now i feel like im dragging myself to succeed in the field i am taking.i just occupy the basics one.not more than that.i dont get along well with numbers and figures and my brain cant accept too much facts.i dont perform well in my tests or exams.i dont master every subject.im just average in my studies and i WISH i do more beyond average.i want to be excellent.

Tell me in what aspect that i am unique?i dont think i am unique.i cant see my specialty.i cant stretch myself to be perfect,at least for myself to see that i am perfect.i cant get everything that i want like those filthy rich kids get.i dont have awesome gadgets or awesome clothes.i was nothing more than ordinary.i AM nothing more than ordinary.

oh pms

i hate pms.yes i hate it soo much cos i dont know how to handle myself when it happens.i'll cry for no reasons..i'll ramble and mumble on such tiny bit things thats not vital at all (in fact,doesnt even affect anything physically)..i'll think way beyond what i suppose to think and i'll end up sulking and even worst i'll cry like a baby (oh tipu,air mata meleleh ja ok)..with the mood swing and all,i still can smile looking at the dot-dot-dot and at the same time the indescribable feeling just came across me..urgh i sometimes hate being teenagers..i cried over the phone last night talking to my mom..oih i hate myself for being such a looser crying for tiny little things that i know i can endure..that was just because of PMS..that wasnt me..am not me when pms attack..

just like a paper-back novel

ok since the internet is being nice tonight,so i decided to blog even i dont even have anything particular to ramble about..

well lets start with my school things..i have ecs test this coming saturday but i dont prepare anything yet.i dont have the mood (again) to study (oh why dont just say i never find the good time to study) yet..the final is on its way real fast but i even dare to dream to go back home during the study week break (oh i never sedar diri yg ilmu tak pernah penuh di dada,yes i know).For the past few days,i've been thinking about my bleak future in engineering field since im facing a great trouble filling my tiny brain with numbers and figures and all those crap formulas.plus soil subject that has never been nice to me since last semester.i hope i wont fail this paper (yes im down on my knees begging to pass this subject).thank god i did quite well in test 2 (i think i did quite well because i was able to answer every single question without having to termenung sana sini tgk kiri kanan when i was in the hall like i did in test 1).oh not to forget about math.i think i did crap.oh yeah,i knew i aint good at math..

ok ok i know should count my blessings and i know there are more people having more severe problems than me out there.i always think abt how it feels like if i study abroad..maybe i would complaint and whine more than this..maybe i would write more lenghty and useless posts in my blog..i know i shouldnt complain since thats what students shoud do-STUDY- right?but what if it bugs me more if i aint let it out..its my blog afterall,why would i think of other people in the first place aite?

i thank YOU!

If in the previous post i wish to be Lucy,now i wish i could be an android.yes an android with no heart feelings or hard feelings or what so ever kind of feelings.i hate to get mad at people that i care for because i just have to cursed inside.i cant let them out because the person that i am mad at is the person that i care for,the person that i love.i hate this kind of feeling.i am crying inside.if i knew this would happen,i would done everything on my own.and for you,thank you for pilling up my work.

keep it low

i kinda annoyed when seeing people updating their status at social-networking page abt their love life,abt their regrets of falling in love, and bla bla bla related..hey,lets make it private and keep it to yourself..it is sooo not cool to let ppl know everything abt you rite?