yeay me!

i had fun hanging out with u guys..even i felt awkward at the beginning..

thanks guys for today.

i hope our friendship will last even after we end our diploma.

frankly, i kinda regret for meeting u guys half way of our program which is kinda late..or else,kita msti dh buat mcm2 benda together kan?

even baru about a year of friendship, dh mcm2 benda kita go through together..honestly i feel like we are closed like a family..dh mcm cousins dah rasa..closed n dear to my heart.

one more thing i regret is kita tak ambik gmbr harini..kalau tak,bleh jd one of my favorite moments..tp things related to u guys will always be on my mind.

this is the way i end my 2011, definitely with great moments with great people.

28/12/2011-movie marathon n bowling.

thanks for the memories :))

okay now i really hope that can read a novel where the main character is myself.

where i can have a sneak-peak of my future..

where i can know how both sides feel about one another..

where i can know what is waiting for me in next chapters..

and most importantly is that i can know the ending earlier that i should possibly know.

it only lasted for not even a week.

okay i hate this part.being too much cared for and then it just ended..

leaving me hanging with no clue.

ok bye!

i dont like to be in the middle.

i wish i can reap off by body into two, so that both sides can have at least a part of me.

i cant choose both eventhough i BADLY want both!

one of the reason why i sleep late at night.

i just can't get enough.

ok tak sabar nk balik arau..like seriously! i wanna get engaged with books and assignments because now, i am at the maximum state of BOREDOM!

mmg sangat looser.handphone aku tak bunyi langsung 2 3 hari ni.and aku ni mcm completely alone ala ala forever alone dah!lpstu depressed bila tgk org muka cantik badan cantik poket pon cantik kat facebook..eh where is my self-confidence??nk tgk cerita korea pon depressed jugak sbb all the awesome-handsome-tough-macho heroes only fall in love with the beautiful-super-adorable-long-legged heroines!mcm tak bg harapan langsung dkt aku..AHHHH

jgn kata tgk cerita korea, tgk gmbr outing with my friends pon depressed jugak!they all look superb with masing2 dh pandai make-up and dress-up and what makes me pathetic the most is they all came up with stories of their boyfriends.ahh sudah laaa, last skali, i end up locking myself in my room reading sappy sad love story with background song of 'rindu setengah mati' by D'masiv being repeated again and again mcm org takdak life.ok thats how lame i am right now!

lepastu kalau cuci mata online shopping pon lagi super duper depressed jugak!those apparels sold online are for those with super hot body, definitely not my size!ok depressed kuasa dua..last last end up buying more shoes than i supposed to.and now, rasa nk marah kalau ada org came up saying she's fat tp tak sedar diri yang baju dia size S ja!kadang2 rasa mcm nk sepak pon ada kaum2 attention seeker mcm ni..kalau dh kurus tu bersyukur lah pada ALLAH maha esa,tak payah nk kompelin berat bertambah ka apa kaa..that makes me even depressed tahu?

and to add the heat, my cousin is getting married soon so my other cousins are going to bring their couples to the kenduri..ok that is fine with me tp they keep asking me about my boyfriend and saying that i am such a geek for not having one at this age!ahhhh biarlah daripada aku buat dosa free, baik aku jd forever alone!

ahhh ok cepatlah, aku nk balik arau..get my fat ass busy with books books and books!

*sorry post terlebih emo sbb I AM BORED to death so i have more than plenty of time to think and look down on myself.

well well well..as epidemic as it has been, the world oh stop, scratch that..most of us have already known that the results for pre-diploma/diploma/foundation students of UiTM is already out and most probably has been the-most-appeared-topic-on-walls-of-facebook at least for last night and today!

hurmmm..i dont have much to say about my result but one thing for sure is I AM THANKFUL ENOUGH to ALLAH for granting my wish of passing every single subject i took last semester.that is such a massive relief -massive-beyond-words- for not having to repeat all those killer subjects like surveying, civil engineering quantities and most killer of all, STRUCTURAL ANALYSIS!!

syukur alhamdulillah, praise be to ALLAH.

all those hardworks are definitely paid off. a gazillion thank to my friends -wahida,shafiqah,afifah,an,fatin,maher,bayon,syam,cudin,min,emma,aimi,nuri,shida,minah,nisa,aisyah ahhh there're sooo many of my friends i have to thank them for this!

oh and not to forget, my parents!and lecturers tooo..thanks guys!

*cewah ayat mcm baru menang anugerah ja..almaklumlaa baru lps tgk anugerah skrin!*

the last song

dear john

the notebook

my sister's keeper

i am sam

letters to juliet

honestly guys, i cried watching these movies!these are love stories that somehow taught me to appreciate life and live my life to the fullest.these aren't just about love between a girl and a boy,but they are beyond that typical perception on LOVE.seriously, these are must watch movies i would say!

its been some times since i last blogged.there are just sooooooo many things happened in my life recently.i lost my dear uncle to a cancer.he fought till the very end and it was a mighty devastation to see how he went through all the pain..i was closed to him.closed enough for me to feel numb and eventually pain in the heart that i couldnt even shed a tear when i heard the news that he passed away.i was in kl at that very time.i was a little taken aback when i heard that he had gone.i was in hesitation of not to go to kl to have fun despite of my dear uncle was bedridden and warded..but my sister convinced me that everything will be fine and we decided to go..not even 72 hours of so called fun,there was a phone call from my mum saying that he's critical and we decided to go back.i felt and still feeling a little regret of not being able to see him for the last time before he passed away.

well, ALLAH knows best.we never knew what is written for us in the future.we may plan whatever we want but still, ALLAH holds the power to grant or not to grant our dreams and wishes.we just have to pray and not stop praying.

AL-FATIHAH to my late PAKLANG

it's semester break,but my heart and my mind are definitely not on break.the thought of him keeps lingering in my mind..i kinda keep relating every single thing happening in my daily life to him..i'm sick of myself you know?

this is totally absurd!bullshit yes i know..

but the more i get to know him, the more good things i can see in him..and that makes me fall for him even more..and the thing i regret is, he doesn't even notice how i feel about him..

YOU,if only you knew how much i think about you..haih!

well, at some point,i hope i can erase the feeling towards him.i myself get confuse whether he is the drug or the cure..he kinda makes me feel 'addicted' and wants more out of him..

urgh,please someone give me a slap and make me realize that life isn't always getting what i want!

i'm done with MUET..

well, done with just only 'speaking' part which is the most crucial part that was torturing me just thinking about it..i was like freaking worried till i couldnt sleep last night!it was like something that were twisting my intestines inside!i swear im not lying..that was how i felt before the test!

its not that i can't speak, yes i can..but getting myself at the table with 2 invigilators who were just focusing on me,the words didnt just came out..i gotta squeezed my brain hard to bring out the words.

speaking is not the same as writing..i'd prefer writing more than speaking..i can write whatever you wish me to write,but not speaking!i got too nervous just thinking about it..i'd rather write 5 essays than speaking!hee

luckily my partners are cool enough to cooperate well with me..they were my juniors and i get along quite well with them.thank god!

gotta get myself ready for writing,listening and reading!

i had a day of my life.

that is all i can describe how i felt yesterday (oct.6.2011).it was a post-exam syndrome i would say.i ended my final examination for semester 5 and we the NR straightly headed to padang besar and had fun!i bought myself a signature t-shirt of I <3 HATYAI..i've been collecting those signature tees and currently i have 6 of different countries :))

my feet were aching so much of extra-long walking and browsingthrough the bazar because of the not so comfy shoes i wore..i should have worn another comfy shoes but yeah, it was all worth it..i don't mind much..

should have you been to padang besar, you would have known that the scenery along the way to padang besar is such breathtaking and picturesque aite?we stopped by the roadside and did some so called photoshoot before we headed back home..

and later after maghrib prayers we went out AGAIN to dine out with the guys..they wanted to join us so we went to POKOK BULUH WESTERN FOOD.the food was just so-so and i'd give 2 and a half stars out of five!the joyous moments continues until late night and the guys decided to assist us back home as it was already late night..really enjoyed myself today!thanks guys!

hope that i'll get the chance to hang out with my girlfriends and boyfriends again even if we are already done with diploma.being around them just light up my day!so here

are some pictures of yesterday.

enjoys :))

i should have stopped this from happening..not letting it spread like a virus, killing me slowly inside..but i guess i just wasted half the time and i am a little too late to make it stop..the feeling is like a scattered pieces of vase that fall from the edge of a table..even if the scattered pieces are glued together, it can never be the same old vase again..there'll be scratches here and there all around the vase..

i don't know why i should feel like this.i dont want to be like this..i just hate it when it comes to this kind of feelings.

well the only way out is to forget.i hope i can forget and erase the bittersweet memories that i've built for the past one year.

errr, i know this is a bit too little too late but i just wanna say i'll give everything i have to see nickhun and victoria on REAL marriage, not being a fake-happily-married couple!

i've practically spent almost 72 hours watching We Got Married-Khuntoria and i am not ashamed to say that i shed tears watching the very last episode of we got married ;((

it is such a nerve-wrecking moment to see the ending of this couple..they should really have fallen for each other after spending 456 days together, doing practically EVERYTHING together!ooh, it shouldnt end this soon!

nickhun is such an ideal type i would say..well i guess that will never happen in reality..thats just some sort of fairytales that has been commercialized to fill all those lonely solitary hearts like me.HAHA well whatevs, i just LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEee this couple!nomu nomu nomu chuwahey <3 <3 <3

at this time being, i am green with envy for my fortunate-super-brilliant ex-schoolmates who are going,will be going and have gone to spread their wings overseas.

there's just no need for me to be envious towards them, its their rezeki and plus their efforts.they definitely work their asses off to be where they are now aite?

so guys, goodluck and take good care of yourselves there in new places..adapt well and never ever ever forget your roots..study hard and go make us proud!

GO ASMA GOOOO!ASMArians are always the best!

i am now currently had my eyes glued on screen watching 'We Got Married' khuntoria!
this is definitely the best so far..im sooooooooo in love with this couple!like seriously, Nickhun is wayyyyyy tooooooooooooo romantic beyond words!go n get yourself glued on screen NOW!

'i hate to turn up out of the blue,uninvited'

i thought i've gone through all these, but i guess i was wrong..

it still lingers in me seeing something i was not suppose to see..

i dont understand this..and i dont like why im being like this.

well,all i can say for this year's raya celebration was kinda so-so..not too exciting and not too bored..i just cant get the real meaning of hari raya actually..for my mum's side,it was a blast i would say,because everybody got their asses back in kedah..thats a YEAY!i gotta meet my aunties and uncles and cousins..and as for my dad's side,it was kinda gloomy..there was no more fireworks on the raya eve..we were all saddened for the lost of our family member-my cousin- though it is almost a year that he passed away,but the grief is always there :(

plus my academic thingy that always and always bothering me, tearing out the mood of raya..i didnt get through it wholly actually,just a quick browse because i dont have the mood to study for my tests..oh come on,its raya lah,dont expect me to get my eyes glued on books during raya time which is just once a year..

afterall,this time around cant beat the previous one..it was a real blast last year..however im still thankful for being able to celebrate this syawal once again for 20 years i've lived :))

HAPPY MERDEKA RAYA everyone :)

bukan laa nk ckp apa kan,tp mcm tacing ah jugak an..penat2 aku msg sana sini tp hasilnya habuk pon tadak..tp awal2 tu mengaku ja ya sana ya sini..rupanyaa ya tadak titik kot!entah,mungkin takdak rezeki lah kot kan..tp kalau aku,aku cuba sedaya upaya try to fulfill someone's punya wish kan..tapi ya lah..sapa2 pon,mestilah family first kan?ok aku tak salahkan sapa2 pon dlm hal ni..maybe tak kena time kan..ish entahlaa,rasa mcm baik aku p kawan dgn mamat2 tu tadi,even tak rapat pon,at least they came by..haih,ada 2 3 org pon tak berapa nk bpleh pakai sangat..ah,sudahlah..raya-raya ni, buat spoiler ja..ok dah k bye!

stress out and worn out.

cepatlah cuti raya..but cuti is never gonna be cuti anymore..and raya will never be the same as it was before..

do you know how it feels like when your circles are too hard working?it drags me to do the same but of course WITHOUT sincerity..so everything won't be the same as it was before..i feel the ache in the heart..and making it worst, i can't spill out what is running through my head..

i feel like i am not being myself lately..the guilt is always there as my circles are too hard-a** RAJIN!i don't feel free to do what i like as im always dragged and forced to do something which is not regularly done..ish can you understand me??

im not the kind of girl who starts of something..be it anything,not even a conversation with strangers.i need something to trigger me and be the catalyst..do not expect me to brag about something to someone im not close with..i wont start anything except if the other party starts first..then i'll get along with the flow and i would rather say i will cope well..

like i said before,i dont usually starts of something..not even a conversation,what else with the relationship..i mean with the opposite sex..call me anything you want to,but still i think, guys should start it up..not us the girls..we have our own pride.if he wants to,then he will..so i rest my case!

can you mind your own business?

ok tak faham English?meh sini nk translate,

jangan sibuk hal orang boleh tak?

there are things rolling hard in my mind..sometimes it feels like i am not being my true self whenever i am around him..i tend to please him in every way possible which i think i should not..i am not living to his expectation and not to anyone else's too..there are just 'things' running through me,leaving myself to figure things out of how to get rid of it..sometimes i feel it is more convenient for me to rant things to total strangers who appear in my life once and probably never will meet again..i feel more reserved as i am quite sure that the chances for them to dig things out again is very very ultra-thin..

i try not to tell personal things to my circles but i usually failed.i wanted so much to be more reserved and modest for not telling people what i feel..but anyway, theres just this one person i can spill out every single thing about how i feel on certain things especially this love-struck thingy..i somehow dont like how i feel right now..i guess the respect that i put on him grew to like and the like grew to errr, LOVE? ah, i dont know myself either.

i turned out liking him more than i originally planned.

please please please count your blessings..be thankful of what you have,for who you are now..it really drive my nerves hearing ungrateful people complaining about their features and all..dont you ever forget that Allah created us in variety of shapes and sizes..as long as we are healthy and able to obligate the Holly Creator, the features are never really a problem..

its a bonus to have perfect features but in this life,theres no such thing as PERFECT!everybody has flaws..people's perceptions are different, thats why Allah created us differently on the first place :))

i dont know why i dont feel like writing these past few weeks..not than i dont have anything to write,but i just dont know how to put them into words..i'd like to express what i feel, but i dont feel like blog is the right place to scribble out things..before,it was..but now not anymore..people like to make fuss out of things..if i write about what i feel towards someone, the thing will be bragged and eventually they would toy me up with those i wrote in blog and make fun of it..i guess i gotta prepare my own old version of diary with big fat lock on it..

personality test

i was blog-hopping through my friends' blogs and found out about the personality test..hee,nk buat jugak..tiru nisa baidullah,aimi dgn ema lah ni..haha

so here goes my personality..

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

*gotta admit those are quite true.

i own this blog to actually express what i feel at certain time..i dont write daily,weekly or monthly.it depends on the situation,how i feel,what i feel..the purpose of me creating this blog is to actually reminisced the moments i experienced throughout my life in the first place..so please dont bother to brag about what i wrote in my blog and eventually make fun of it..if you read,then just keep it to yourself and pretty please dont you bring out what is written here in my blog..if you are loathed with whatever i wrote here,so please click the red tab on the upper right of your windows.

thank you :)

i know im way toooooooooooooooo late for this but i just found out about this video.and it touches my heart..yes sincerely,i cried watching this video for the first time..

adik loves you,mak :)

SUPERIORITY

i have always and always look down on myself..i cant find any positive side of myself..all i see in me is negative..i dont have the look nor the body..i am not smart,what else intelligent..i cant really depend on my own self..i dont have a bubbly character that can light up the atmosphere..i dont have the attractions..i cant draw..im not creative..i cant sing well..i cant play music..im not good at math..i do a lot of silly mistakes everytime i do calculations..i get irritated easily and i tend to bebai to myself..im not rajin either..

BUT........................

after watching this video,it makes me appreciate myself more.it doesnt matter what your size is,or what colour your skin is,or how terrible your appearance is..its the will in you that matters..things that make you who you are today.

he did that again.

im ok with that.i dont give a damn.he's no one to me after all..

i wont sacrifice what i have built for almost 3 years just for the sake of uncertainties.

and one more thing,i am cool in my own way..

those were all nothing but just a waste of time.

i can stand on my own feet..

im all on my own for already twenty years..THE TIME will come eventually,sooner or later.

random ramble #2

I was blog-hopping a while ago and my eyes were stuck to a blog where the atmosphere was all plain pure LOVE..just by looking at the pictures can make me smile to myself and honestly,i can feel the firm and grip of family's love..

deep down in my heart,i hope i'll be like them one fine day..surrounded by loved ones,seeing the love of my life growing up in front of my eyes,being showered with sincerity and honesty -not that i dont appreciate what i have now,but being a normal not-a-girl-not-yet-a-woman like me,the feeling just strike out of nowhere..

now that i got 'the feeling',i sometimes hate how i feel..but at the same time,i want to feel how it feels to feel 'that' kind of feeling..

falling in love is hard man!and getting away from it after a hard fall is way harder,trust me!

blunt.dull.grey.dark.gloom

as if there's nobody else..

promised me not to but they sure did.

-currently addicted to running man.i cant stop laughing whenever i watch this game show..

-im more passionate into cooking now,thank god.

-always have nothing to do when it comes to weekend.

-money is all drained out on fuel.

-currently high in the sky with that 'someone' even it is nothing but platonic.flat and lame.

random

kadang-kadang, rasa macam nk terjun masuk dlm novel and jadi a part of the character,or jd the whole character itself sbb boleh rasa mcm mana dia rasa sebenar-benarnya..my whole life, i've been reading tonnes of hopeless romantic malay novels and several of english romance novels..not that i dont like to read english materials,tapi bila baca yang bahasa mother toungue tu, feel dia lain..rasa mcm meresap and sometimes i do feel like im the one yang rasa apa yg watak tu rasa..tu yang smpai menangis-nangis..i know how cheesy i am tp thats the fact..

kadang-kadang jugak,rasa mcm nak stay dlm novel tp reality check,that will never happens!kalau dalam novel,kita ni sebagai pembaca jadi orang ketiga which means we know what is going on on both sides-hero n heroine-how they feel and how their feelings towards each other..and kalau rasa tak sabar sgt tu,boleh laa curi-curi selak page belakang to know what will happen..tp kalau realiti,boleh kaa mcm tu?mesti laa tak boleh kan?(dgn capslock perkataan TAK BOLEH dan highlight warna merah).

disebabkan otak aku ni dh corrupted dgn banyak sangat kisah cinta tahap cheesy romantika de amor,so aku kadang2 terbawa-bawa di alam realiti dgn dok bayang bukan2-not 'that' kind of bukan-bukan ok!- and then aku akan tersengih suka sorang2..tp masalah yg satu ni,bila aku TERsuka kat sorang mamat ni,aku tak boleh nk predict apa yg dia rasa sbb aku bukan orang ketiga yg tgh baca novel and akan tahu what is happening on both sides!ha,itu diaa masalah utama.so aku pon malas nk layan sbb mamat tu pon nmpk mcm ala-ala mysterious..ok stop,these are all nothing but platonic!

tapi kadang-kadang (lagi),aku suka dok berangan future aku dgn mamat yg aku TERsuka tu*heck rasa nk hentuk kepala kt dinding* lpstu bila sedar realiti yang sememangnya menyakitkan ni,aku rasa nk ketuk2 kepala n format kepala otak aku so that i lost every single memory i have about him..lgpon,he wont find me if he needs to know something..he would rather text my friend-yes my housemate- to know something..and that dear friend of mine will spill out every single thing she text with him!oh now can you imagine how devastating i feel??*amboi devastating kau*

haa enough lah about this uncertainties..selalunya novel-novel yang berlambak dalam rak buku kt bilik aku ended with sappy happy endings..tp hidup aku ni tak tau lg nk end macam mana kan..so better aku buat tak tahu saja pasai benda2 tak berapa berfaedah ni..baeklaa aku p ulangkaji pelajaran*wah,ulangkaji dah* untuk mengejar empat rata.sekian terima kasih.

-4 jun 2011,5.04 pm-

classes will start very very very soon!but not soon enough for me to pack up my things..i dont feel like going back to arau but at the same time i am bored to death here..i dont understand myself either..i want to go back to arau n meet my friends,not the books!can we just put aside the books,tests,quizzes,assignments and exams?

hell yeah i am disappointed with my results!my friends' are just way higher than me and i feel inferior to be around them.hoh,i should have been thankful enough that i passed every subject but it still fails to make me smile with satisfaction..fingers crossing that i will excel in this coming semester..i want dean's list..yes i want it soooooo bad i would give anything in exchange..whewww,if only i could but the truth is i couldnt :(

im not staying in college no more for these coming 2 semesters..im finally a NR and No Role-call no more..thats the best part of all..with all the facilities my parents provide,i hope i wont drown in indulgence..i pray that i wont be a lazy-bump no more.STUDY STUDY STUDY and ACE ACE ACE!!

birthday wish

it has been almost 7 years since i know this girl..we were only 14 back then,decent and innocent..now,today to be precise,she has turned 20!

even we are miles apart,i can still feel the nearness..the happiness that she brings whenever im with her just light up my day..she is one of the BEST-est friend i ever have..even we dont have any blood ties but it feels like it!sisterly love is always there..i always tell her that if she were a boy,i wont even hesitate to marry her..but she is destined to be my best friend,my mate,my accomplice,my partner in crime,my shoulder to cry,my ears to my whines,MY EVERYTHING for short.

i dont know what have i done to deserve her because i dont always pleased her like she always did to me..she never fails to craft a smile on my face..i'm thankful enough for sending me this angel for me to go through my days..

dear AFIQAH AHMAD,

HAPPY 20th birthday..im not good with words,but i hope that u r in your best of health,great years ahead and never regret of path that you have chosen..remember that ALLAH knows best.I hope our friendship will last forever.i love you,friend.HAPPY BIRTHDAY :)

Thank ALLAH for the result even it didnt hit the target and im not satisfied enough with it but at least,i wouldnt have to repeat and reseat any paper.ALHAMDULILLAH.

though i think i deserve more than what i got for my labs,but yeah,ALHAMDULILLAH.

i gotta fight some more for next semester.INSYAALLAH.

i love having the seat next to the window whenever i travel in whichever means of transport.

the view is just picturesque and awesome especially when i got the chance to be on plane.

i'd prefer to be on flight during night time because the scenery is just fantastic beyond words.

tagged

ive been tagged rupanya!kenapalaa blogspot tak ada notifications mcm fb *sigh*

so here we go,thanks mimiesyaza for tagging me this,at least i can kill the time :))

Do you go on the computer a lot?
-YES!u dont know how clingy i am to my lappie.

Do you have a Facebook/Myspace/Twitter?
-i have Facebook n Myspace acc but im more intooo fb!

Are you addicted to one of the above?
-yes obviously.esp when i have nothing else to do :))

Do you like to take pictures?
-yes but not self vanity!haha..i dont like to self-portrait..i'd rather take sceneries or others pictures.

What is the most rebellious thing you have ever done?
-i dont think i've done anything rebellious *halo above my head*

Do you love someone?
-kinda

what is his/her name?
-lets keep it as a secret,shall we?

who would you choose family or your love one if both of them are need you in the same time?
-well of course family!

Are you a righty or a lefty?
-righty

Vanilla or Chocolate?
-vanilla

What is your favorite movie?
-too many to be listed but so far 'my sisters keeper' is the best movie i've seen

Do any diseases run in your family?
-i dont think so

Have you won any trophies?
-once or twice,i cant remember

What is the greatest invention?
-i think the internet is a major breakthrough in todays fast paced developing country :)

What kind of car do you want?
-toyota harrier..oh wait,suzuki swift is kinda cute..oh no,VW golf gti is tempting in red..oh yeah,i have a long list of dream rides.haha

i feel like hitting the keyboard tonight..but theres like nothing on my mind to particularly ramble about..well im on my semester break now and i think my life is turning 360 degrees upside down..i have issues going off to bed and getting out of bed..seems like im in the other half of the world because i sleep during the day and im wide awake during night time..my recent sleeping time is usually around 3.30 am to 4 am and sometimes i'd sleep after subuh prayer..thats way too extreme for a girl like me..people would say im a lazy ass for not getting up early in the morning!and i found out that i'd need a reason for me to wake up in the morning or else,i'd still be snoring on the comfy,'scrumptious' and tempting bed..dont expect to see me around the house in the morning because as i said,im still in bed..my wake up time is usually around 12.30 in the afternoon or worse,i'll only be waking up only when i hear azan for zohor prayer !heck i sleep too much,way too much!

since i got back home,i did not watch mr. TV as much as i did before i enter university..mr. TV doesnt even catch my attention anymore..well at least now i know that i can survive without mr TV!im more clingy to my lappie and facebook is the driving force nowadays..being too attached to the internet has made me locked myself up inside my room a

ll day long..i just go out for toilets and to eat..plus,i've been spending way too much money on novels..for the past 2 weeks,i've bought 5 novels and i just ordered 2 more!since there are online bookstores,i dont even have to drag myself to POPULAR no more..and that ease everything!

i feel like going out somewhere but i dont have companion..and my money is all drained out on the novels..i miss school so much and i miss being the girl i used to be when i was me and worry-free..not saying that i have severe problems now,but being who i was before seems more carefree and i dont even have to think about being hurt deep inside as i cant pour out what is inside of me so that HE knows what i feel towards HIM..being 'previous' me was the greatest time of my life since my circles are all of my sex,not the opp

osite!okay stop,what am i babbling about??

this sem break is sooooooo short that i dont even manage to plan a trip with my family since it is not school holidays..and i cant even meet up with my school friends as we are not having the same holiday!that is soooooo sad and not cool!

okay i miss this little rascal, mr. djibril,better known as DJ!heee

one of the list of cravings has been fulfilled.and im satisfied enough even i have to go through some rough times to make it happened.

oh i've watched THOR last couple of weeks.it was awesome!i watch in 3D and the effects are better than TRON..the rm18 ticket is worth it!one word,AWESOME!the hero too is handsome and HOT though!

and i cant wait to watch NUR KASIH the movie..mind you,i never like to watch malay movies in cinema because i think it is such a waste of money to buy the tickets..but still,my support goes for this sequel!

new zealand

great ocean road

santorini island

i need inspiration.

yes.i need it.

i feel like im totally left behind now.

maybe it is just my feelings or it is true,i dont even know.

now that i've come this far,i decided not to think about it,not even once.

if it s meant to be,then it is meant to be.

if its not,go swim across the sea,jump from the mountain,cry until u bleed,still it wont happen if it is fated that it is not meant to be!

awesome!i less than three you,mom!

happy mothers day!

as i promised,though it is freaking late..

well as the saying goes,its better late than never.

as i said before,i had a REAL fun that night.

"What" and "If" are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: What if? What if? What if? I don't know how your story ended but if what you felt then was true love, then it's never too late. If it was true then, why wouldn't it be true now? You need only the courage to follow your heart. I don't know what a love like Juliet's feels like - love to leave loved ones for, love to cross oceans for but I'd like to believe if I ever were to feel it, that I will have the courage to seize it. And, Claire, if you didn't, I hope one day that you will. All my love, Juliet

letters to juliet,2010

i was browsing around youtube and i found these..

my all-time favorite man!

heres another :)

super sweet!

jom!lets get married today!

later this evening,i went to a clinic because my right eye is having some sort of irritation and it got red.i usually go poliklinik mutiara but then it was full and i hate to wait too long for my turn so i decided to go to poliklinik ******h..to my surprise,there was just 1 patient waiting for his turn n then it was my turn.the door was open n i enter the room with smile..

omg,the doctor was superhot!like seriously SUPER HOT!

he asked me about my age n bla bla bla n he kept repeating my full name as if my name is soooo tongue-twisted to pronounce.ngahaha

i thought i had a conjunctivitis but it turned out not.the HOT doctor said it was just an irritation due to my contact lens or maybe it was just an early stage of conjunctivitis or entah,he wasnt really sure himself..haha..pelik kan?

and yg lagi peliknyaaa,he gave me an eyedrop and paracetamol..hoho..i tak demam pon ok!sakit mata,tp dpt ubat demam..nasib baik doktor tu HOT!

Tell me is it only me
Do you feel the same?
You know me well enough to know that I'm not playing games
I promise I won't turn around and I won't let you down
You can trust I've never felt it like I feel it now
Baby there's nothing, there's nothing we can't get through

finally home.

yes.nice and cozy,spacious and comfy!

thats what it feels like.

no more sweating while napping!

*finger-crossing for good results.i hope i pass every subject!*

i hate myself for being so silly and so stress out on such tiny little thing that could be settled in a blink!

i think i can endure but the fact is that i can't.I CANNOT!

sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih sedih!

if only time can be fast-forward to 29th april 2011, 11.30 am and stop right at that moment..that would be a heaven's gift!

i had the night of my life yesterday.

pictures will come later.

gotta work my ass off on my fluid mechanics.

shutting myself down for finals starting 21st until 29th with gaps in between.

may peace be upon you!

he smiled today.

walaupun takda laa smpai tahap 'the smile on your face lets me know that u need me' lg,but he SMILED..senyuman membunuh 7 juta megawatt masih melekat dlm kotak ingatan.huahuahua.

*rasa nk sepak diri sendiri sbb terlampau gedik*

stress out and worn out.

i have internal issues with my own feelings.

and i hate these kind of feelings.

unrequited love,one side love.

i hate things regarded with love.

why does this has to happen now.

seeing him everyday but never get the chance to say a word,seeing him laughing with my friend..it strikes me right to the heart.

i miss my best friend,i miss to cry on her shoulder.

it is just too hard to endure.i've been putting too much effort on something i strongly dislike to make me understands it, AT LEAST.but all the effort i've put all this while were wasted and doesnt even worth it.it is such a pain for me not to be able to do something i hate but at the same time making me love it.a pain in the heart.i know u wont understand this but at least,have a mercy on me.all the hard works are REGRET.yes, a total regret,bullshit,useless,nonsense, you name it.

boomerang

limited time to even indulge myself with my evergreen boyfriend.

tests are just freaking me out and finals is showing off himself too soon.

been falling for someone somehow that someone doesnt even notice my existence.oh wait,i've been invisible for this past few weeks yes i know.

err,got the golden opportunity to go back home for 4 days as arau was flooded and i call that a perfect getaway.got to meet djibril and i got myself a pair of women classics from TOMS and i dont know what i was thinking for ordering red

canvas women's classics..thats like a real red you know!n

i dont know when on earth i'll be wearing them..

oh n not to forget,i miss this little cupid too..yaya insist to call me kakak instead of maksu.haha..yaya,maksu misses you.n mikhael too.

stress tgk org cantik kat FACEBOOK.

ok bye nk p london weight management!

dont you DARE say im okay while im not.

dont you ever have the guts to say im good while im doom.

you dont know me at all.THAT is what YOU should know about yourself on the first place.

weekends MADness

this is how i spend my every weekend..eh,this is how,we, the part 4 civil engineering students of uitm arau spend our weekend 'happily' and 'joyously'

18/3-test2:MAT285 19/3:test1:ECS228 27/3: test2: ECM 216 2/4: test2:ECW201(lab) 3/4: test2:ECG213 8/4: test2: ECS(lab) 10/4: test3:MAT285 15/4:test2: ECS228

nah kau!puas hati??tu pon ada lg 2 lab yg belum declare bila tarikhnya..lab ecm and lab ecg..oh gosh,im going INSANE.

wild thoughts

alright peeps, im gonna spill everything my mind right here right now.so dont bother if it gets twisted in the end with anything not related at all in between paragraphs.he he ;D

first and foremost-JAPAN.

it has been a widespread about the news Japan has been hit by 8.9 scalar richter earthquake,and as the consequences,tsunami hits some of the northern parts of Japan..my prayer is always with them..i've been thinking deeply that no matter how great and state-of-the-art the buildings and inventions are,theres just no way to escape what Allah has promised..Japan is the leading country with the invention of technologies,gadgets and everything-forward,still,it cant avoid the disaster from happening..thats where we can see how powerful ALLAH the almighty is.So,be grateful of where we are,what we have,how we have lived, and count our blessings and please stop whining.

they said being a uni student is the most awesome-est period of life.i can tell thats a plain lie.yes its a nature of a student having not to do anything else but to study.but if u r stuffed with 12 lab reports every single week and tests on every weekend,will u call that a heaven on earth??that doesnt include the tutorials and assignments and other outdoor project.fine fine fine..im coping with this and hope i'll ace with victory!swallow all for once,gotta work my ass off for the final.

shuh,shut it off with the academic things,lets ditch them all for now!and hey,did i tell you that korean dramas are soooo in now??teheee,i think it is just me who is far away left behind with this syndrome.ngehehee,screw my friends for introducing me with this kind of drugs.im still hoping for the best for my academic performance despite on how i've been wasting my time with 3 20- episodes-korean-dramas in a row,a little bit of studying,and korean drama again..i think that balanced up my hectic and stressful study life..

and i think it kinda sucks to be as i am always left behind whenever there are family gathering..im a family-man..and its a real sucks when i am the only one who is not there when all of my cousins and uncles and aunties and nieces and nephews are there..and what sucks the most is that they are going to BANDUNG without me!hoi,i hate being left out here with books and reports.

me and my inner self is always having arguements.my thoughts,my heart and my mind sometimes doesnt rhyme but we are doing good.well thats pretty much of what are things going on in my mind..till then,may peace be upon you!

hatred.

click here

aku bg link sudah.tak sanggup nk semakkan blog aku dgn kerja bodoh a bunch of hatred uneducated haters.

sapa tak kenal anwar hadi??he is such a phenomena..an epidemic..im not posting this because im a die hard fan of this namja(guy) but watching that video,it rekindles how 'sick' and lame those haters are..their act clearly shows how narrow and uneducated they are..well at least,anwar hadi has something educational and beneficial to share with and he doesnt even hide his face like those cupid did.

mcm ni laa melayu,dengki tu ada jaa kt mana mana..apa masalah hampa kalau si anuar hadi ni nk buat youtube channel dia sendiri??kau mampu ckp English mcm dia??ada??at least he spreads good things around and not replacing people's name with something bullshit like you guys did.and addressing people as 'babi' clearly shows that you guys hold a below-par mentality.oh come on guys,theres so many other things you can do rather than doing this stupid things.

i will make a miracle happen for you.

auwhh,can't you be any sweeter than this?

im soooo much deeply into koreans now.i even listen to their songs.

call me NABILAH!

last time it was che nab.,and then it became nab..and now,kak nab??

oh hello,my name spells like this:

N-A-B-I-L-A-H

read my lips, N-A-B-I-L-A-H.

i dont know how my name can be as short as nab..somehow,i kinda dislike people to call me with that name..i dont mind if my good friends/best friends to call me that (but i'd prefer if they ever can call me NABILAH)..but when my aunties n cousins started calling me nab,ughh,it is SICK u know.SICK!

i'll be the happiest person ever exist on earth if u ever to call me NABILAH..because thats what my name is..and it has meaning too..that is why my parents name me as NABILAH on the first place.

cepat laaa cepat laa

im coming home im coming home.tell the world that im coming home!

whoohooooooo!after almost 5 weeks of 'hell' i finally gotta go back to my crib and be with families..well,im kinda a family girl i would say..i love to laze around my crib and being showered with overflow love seems to make me kinda a spoilt girl..but not to worry,am not a spoiled brat and never will be one.

i miss my bestfriend..i miss to share everything with her..i really miss you!

and i cant wait to meet those two little fellas..wait for maksu this coming weekend!yohoooo..no more books for 3 days!yeay for that.

stress

STRESS.

im all built up with it now.even my head keeps on spinning.told you i was kicked out from college for nex sem which means i have to be a non-resident next sem..i think i should be glad for that..it is soooo freaking true that everything happens for reasons..

last night i had another stupid role-call..first half n hour was bacaan yaasin..and the other one and a half hour were filled with stupid and lousy things they keep on reminding us again and again..the role-call ended nearly at 1 am.yes crazy right?

and the most unreasonable new rule is we cannot be at friend's room after 11 pm..that is soooo f***ingly unreasonable..nak buat assignments and lab reports pon tak boleh??shitty lah oii!


another F for the RS..adios amigos beringin!

err..did i mention that i have tests on almost every weekend??sick right??civil engineering is soo freaking tough!FIGHTING!

aku paling pantang org yg sesuka hati nk tuju jari telunjuk ke muka aku tanpa kompromi nk dengar alasan aku.aku mengaku kalau aku salah tp aku mmg tak salah..masalahnya mulut cibai kau tu dh melampau dgn kesalahan ciput aku..setakat tak attend ceramah SEKALI aku nk kena buang kolej mmg cap ayam lah kau!bukan salah aku pon kalau aku tak attend benda alah tu..dh kau buat announcement pkol 7.30 mlm ckp ceramah tu pkul 8 mlm..mmg lah kau buat announcement boleh dgr smpai kangar pon..n kau nk marah aku ckp aku pergi kangar hangout boleh n nk attend ceramah tu tak boleh,hello,weekend kot!kau apa tau aku ada test smpai 3 every week..tu tak kira lab report lg..kau nk tolong buatkan utk aku?? lgpon bukan aku panjat pagar mlm2 pg cari laki pon,bukan aku kantoi rokok,isap ganja hidu gam apa bala..hello,setakat ceramah yg tak fun langsung tu,kau tak payah laa nk kecoh setaman..apahal kau tak pakai hailer trus bg 1 beringin tau aku tak p ceramah?apa kau jeles aku duduk senang lenang kt bilik n kau kena tinggal laki kau kt rumah n attend ceramah tu??hello,aku buat report berjabu kot kat bilik..bukan aku duduk goyang kaki..kau apa tau!tau nk marah org ja..takpa puan,saya doakan rezeki puan diredhai ALLAH..semoga puan sentiasa dalam lindungan rahmat-Nya..selalunya,doa org teraniaya dimakbulkan tuhan.

puan,ever heard of KARMA??what goes around comes around.tak kena kat puan,mungkin kna kt anak puan nanti..oh lupa,puan takdak anak,ok mungkin kna kt adik2 atau anak2 saudara puan..who knows!

passion baru!

hobi baru:
print screen
who can resist his smile??
IRRESISTABLE!
dgr nama sahaja sudah boleh tersenyum lebar.

no promises..eh tak tak,i PROMISE!

i'm done with soil engineering test 1..i think i did quite well for the calculation part without having major problem..but the theory part,urghhh it costs me 12 marks as i dont have any clue on what to answer..hope i'll past this test..i need 3.7 gpa this sem!tak mau main main dah!janji!

cause thats what friends are suppose to do

hari ni adalah hari malas sedunia mungkin..atau aku saja yg terasa terlalu berat hati untuk memandang walaupun sejenak pada buku-buku pelajaran yg bersepah di atas meja itu??mungkin tidak,kerana rakan sebilik aku juga sama tahap pemalasnya seperti aku..yang pastinya,masa untuk ber'muka buku' adalah lebih diutamakan walaupun tests sedang beratur menunggu giliran untuk diberi perhatian..kadang-kadang,sesuatu perkara itu,sekiranya terlebih-lebih menuntut perhatian akan membuat seorang manusia lemah seperti aku berasa jelak dan muak..betul laa seperti cheryl cole tu ckp dalam lagu dia yg meletup tu-"too much of everything can make you sick,even the good can be a curse!"

minggu hadapan,tests berjabu(banyak) menanti aku..tapi,seperti yang aku nyatakan tadi,aura untuk mentelaah pelajaran belum menunjukkan muka..aku tahu sekiranya aku tidak perform untuk tests ni,aku akan screw up aku punya result peperiksaan akhir semester ini..tp procrastination itu tetap memainkan peranannnya dengan begitu hebat dalam diri aku..sudahlah dengan perkara dunia ini..rasa seperti mahu bervakasi(vacation) di pulau-pulau seperti mabul atau maldives..

tp mak aku selalu cakap,kalau nak senang pada masa depan,kita perlu bersusah dahulu sekarang..jadi,angan-angan untuk bercuti dan bermalas-malasan di pulau seperti maldives haruslah didahului dengan kesusahan yakni mengulangkaji pelajaran dengan bersungguh-sungguh untuk mendapat keputusan yang cemerlang dalam peperiksaan memandangkan Malaysia merupakan exam-oriented country di mana pelajar-pelajar cemerlang diberikan keutamaan dalam hierarki pekerjaan(post)..apabila mendapat keputusan peperiksaan yg cemerlang,makanya insya-ALLAH akan mendapat pekerjaan bergaji lumayan,jadi insya-ALLAH angan-angan untuk bercuti di pulau seperti maldives atau mabul pastinya menjadi kenyataan..bukan sahaja pulau maldives,mungkin juga negara-negara eropah boleh dilawati..

jadi apa kata kita bersama-sama mengulangkaji pelajaran demi masa hadapan yang cerah secerah sinaran matahari pada jam 12 tengah hari hari-hari..ok cukuplah setakat ini dahulu untuk hari ini..mari kita lihat tests yang menanti untuk diberi perhatian dan kasih sayang

20/2/2011- soil engineering
21/2/2011- building services engineering
25/2/2011- structure lab
26/2/2011- further maths for engineers
26/2/2011- soil mechanics lab
28/2/2011- building services lab
05/2/2011- fluid mechanics

oh bahagianya!

maulud nabi

salam maulidur rasul.

colours of yesterday!

the first half of yesterday was fun but a bit tiring.we had an explorace for part 4 modul LDK..we had to go all round the campus with 10 checkpoints with 10 different task at each checkpoint..we did practically everything-dance,sing,swim,cycling,puzzle-solving,climbing up stairs and u name it!i really had fun yesterday and now,im succumb to every-body-part-ache!heee ;p

the unhappy thing about yesterday was we had role-call last night..u should know how i hate role-call as much as i hate frog!the JPKs were all unconsiderable calling us out late around 11 pm where i was about getting my bed ready for sleep..and the thing that boiled me up was the role-call were pointless.they keep repeating things that we already knew.the infos were all up on the board.they too never really did know how to say things nicely..aku paling pantang bab buang masa aku tgh2 mlm dan dok ulang benda yang sama berkali-kali..wey aku tak tuli lg laa!lepas tu,nk tegur org pon agak2 laa..main lepas ikot sedap rasa ja apa barang derr??pissing me off is the only thing ur good at,arent you?

saranghaeyo oppa

another 25 hours of the past one week since Saturday are wasted on an awesome korean drama with a super-duper-trooper HANDSOME korean hero.no,2 HEROES i would say..KIM BUM and LEE MIN HO are surely 2 heavenly-handsome creature who cant take my eyes off them..they have all the criteria the girls are craving for ; height,6 packs,good looks,sexy lips,mesmerizing eyes,cute little sharpy nose oh what else?every features on their face seem to be perfect..well at least enough to make me smile just by mentioning their names..

i wasnt into korean dramas before (more to strong dislike actually).at that particular time,i thought its such a waste of time starring on the screen just to watch korean drama..but then,thanks to my mates,the made me watch korean drama..n now i got it why the hell people are sooooooooooooooo crazily in love with koreans..though most of the story-lines are just practically the same which is about LOVE,of course..but these dramas really able to make me laugh and cry at the same time..plus the heroes are extremely handsome and good looking which is the main reason i cant stop once i start watching them.

as the malay saying goes, "tak kenal maka tak cinta" and i think thats what striking me now ;))

the heat is just unbearable.i'm all soaked with sweat every day.i even sweat while chilling on my bed doing nothing but watching movie.my skin is getting tanned day by day.thankfully i wear sneakers most of the 'peak' time or else my feet will be tanned too.with all the walkings to and fro to the lab and classes,that add to the natural tanning process im experiencing now.there's no rainfall since more than a month until today.the grass has become yellowish and it would be hard to find green spots in the campus.everything is dry,evaporated.my lecturer once said,we have to sacrifice our comforts to the over-heated condition for the MEMPELAM HARUM MANIS to grow healthily.well,i guess thats the good part of living in arau.

lesson learnt: there's no anything gained without going through hardship.thus,i have to work my ass out in order to success.FIGHTING!

another week had past..which means a honeymoon week for me is finally over..i really enjoyed myself to the max..i ditch everything related to education!i did bring back some ecg's tutorial but as usual,im gonna take it back to arau just the way it was when i bring it here,to alor star..bahaha..i've been spending my time lazing around doing nothing productive..and i'm glad that i live in MALAYSIA so i have many breaks because of many races living together under 1MALAYSIA..teehee ;))

now lets get back on track!i gotta utilize my brain to the max!i wanna dean's list again for this sem!i promise to myself!i wont fool around again like i did last sem!play hard,study even harder this time around!

a condolence from me to u

to my dearest friend shafiqah mohd. akhir..

i hope u'll be strong..i know its not easy for u to let go the person u loved the most..the person that has been with u since the day u were born..the person who has been the strongest pillar in ur life..the person who has been the one and only man figure in your life..the person who is practically everything to you,the very reason for ur existence in this world..

life and death is just inseparable..every beginning of life will eventually ends with death..i hope u'll be strong enduring this devastating circumstance..u know u always have us to turn on..u may have lost ur father,but always remember that u have ur own circle of friends that will always be with u through thick and thin..i know losing ur dearest father is like having a hole in ur heart..together we'll heal it with time..we love u..u can always count on us..be strong okay,dear..he may not be with u ever again,but i know he'll always be close to ur heart..after all,u carry his name everywhere u go..hehe..be strong okay!

al-fatihah to the late father of shafiqah.may peace be upon u.

hye its me-AGAIN!

if u noticed in my previous post, i've vowed to myself that i wont whine and complaint about what's happening in my life..but now,i draw back my vow..i cant stand doing reports reports and more reports..i've been spending almost all of my leisure time practically on doing reports..i cant even find a bit wee time for myself what else to study..the me-time for me now is just night sleep and cleaning up myself twice a day..makan pon sehari sekali je skrg tu pun kalau time 'oren' tak penuh..kalau kedai makan tu penuh,mmg aku balik mkn biskut ja..

i know it sounds exaggerating,but thats what im experiencing now..i mean, WE,part 4 DICE students are experiencing..tu tak kira lg jalan ulang alik ke lab yg jauhnya ya allah..kampus ni tak boleh nk besaq lg kan..bas pulak takdak..mmg lah seronok pon..ok fine,lets stop here and work my ass out on my REPORTS REPORTS REPORTS REPORTS REPORTS!