random

kadang-kadang, rasa macam nk terjun masuk dlm novel and jadi a part of the character,or jd the whole character itself sbb boleh rasa mcm mana dia rasa sebenar-benarnya..my whole life, i've been reading tonnes of hopeless romantic malay novels and several of english romance novels..not that i dont like to read english materials,tapi bila baca yang bahasa mother toungue tu, feel dia lain..rasa mcm meresap and sometimes i do feel like im the one yang rasa apa yg watak tu rasa..tu yang smpai menangis-nangis..i know how cheesy i am tp thats the fact..

kadang-kadang jugak,rasa mcm nak stay dlm novel tp reality check,that will never happens!kalau dalam novel,kita ni sebagai pembaca jadi orang ketiga which means we know what is going on on both sides-hero n heroine-how they feel and how their feelings towards each other..and kalau rasa tak sabar sgt tu,boleh laa curi-curi selak page belakang to know what will happen..tp kalau realiti,boleh kaa mcm tu?mesti laa tak boleh kan?(dgn capslock perkataan TAK BOLEH dan highlight warna merah).

disebabkan otak aku ni dh corrupted dgn banyak sangat kisah cinta tahap cheesy romantika de amor,so aku kadang2 terbawa-bawa di alam realiti dgn dok bayang bukan2-not 'that' kind of bukan-bukan ok!- and then aku akan tersengih suka sorang2..tp masalah yg satu ni,bila aku TERsuka kat sorang mamat ni,aku tak boleh nk predict apa yg dia rasa sbb aku bukan orang ketiga yg tgh baca novel and akan tahu what is happening on both sides!ha,itu diaa masalah utama.so aku pon malas nk layan sbb mamat tu pon nmpk mcm ala-ala mysterious..ok stop,these are all nothing but platonic!

tapi kadang-kadang (lagi),aku suka dok berangan future aku dgn mamat yg aku TERsuka tu*heck rasa nk hentuk kepala kt dinding* lpstu bila sedar realiti yang sememangnya menyakitkan ni,aku rasa nk ketuk2 kepala n format kepala otak aku so that i lost every single memory i have about him..lgpon,he wont find me if he needs to know something..he would rather text my friend-yes my housemate- to know something..and that dear friend of mine will spill out every single thing she text with him!oh now can you imagine how devastating i feel??*amboi devastating kau*

haa enough lah about this uncertainties..selalunya novel-novel yang berlambak dalam rak buku kt bilik aku ended with sappy happy endings..tp hidup aku ni tak tau lg nk end macam mana kan..so better aku buat tak tahu saja pasai benda2 tak berapa berfaedah ni..baeklaa aku p ulangkaji pelajaran*wah,ulangkaji dah* untuk mengejar empat rata.sekian terima kasih.

-4 jun 2011,5.04 pm-