...of what i feel inside

theres just too much memories i have with him. its hard for me to get him off my mind if whatever i do everyday relates me to him. even listening to a song, i have memory with him too. getting to know the fact that he is freaking serious with his relationship right now, it bothers me a bit. i know i am not for him, i HAVE to and  OUGHT to forget him and accept him as one of my bestfriends as that is what he always say.

its ok, i let go.HE might have reserved me someone better and its just a matter of time.

ok fine, lets move on. NEXT!!

Tears and joy

Just to mark the calendar, 29.11.2012 was my convocation for my diploma in civil engineering. I finally have my diploma.my sweat,tears and everything in between.

So my life has been quite manageable so far in terms of studies n stuffs.but still im juggling to manage my time wisely here.

But one thing that is running in my head n my mind is about 'hati dan perasaan'

I actually hate that part cause its kind of tearing me inside.i dont think I should feel that way pun tapi entah,it still bothers.

Kadang I feel stupid for spending my time with him.what if he's not 'the one'??(well I dont even think he's the one pun sebab I dont think he feels the same too) tapi I dont know how to avoid.he keeps coming.

Told you I hate this kind of feeling!urgh sick you know, sick!!

Of palestine and peace.

It has been about two months since I last blogged.well, I just installed this app on my phone that I can blog on the go,so hopefully i'll blog more after this.
Life has been good but of course with some ups n downs which I should not complain more.

While i'm here complaining abt how piles of homeworks could ruin my life, how I dont have time to fold my machine-washed clothes, how lazy I am to go down n buy myself lunch, how I hate being g degree student, how hard I live here without a car to move around, and many other silly and absurd whining about my life rite now-there are other kids on the other side of the world who are fighting for their lives,without having sophisticated weapons to defend themselves against the zionist laknatullah!

Humanity is on the rock!

Killing those innocence kids,slaughtering n burning them to death with no mercy..what are those people thinking??defending themselves?from what??to me,they are nothing but coward.

I should be thankful enough for what I have now.ALHAMDULILLAH.

so muslims,let us pray.pray with all our heart, that the Allah will safe our brothers n sisters out there.thats the least we can do but in shaa Allah could make a huge difference.amin!

shah alam

It has been about two weeks since i set my butt here in Shah Alam. Yes, i got to continue my Degree here. Alhamdulillah I can cope here but obviously Arau served me better than here. I seriously miss my times in Arau. They say Shah Alam has everything but to me, here is plain, dull and hectic. Everyone is like a robot. Too engaged with own responsibilities. The dean of my faculty for me is kind of freaky and illogical. He decided the attendance to be 100% which means we have to attend each and every class without FAIL! That's why I say people here is like a robot that always work 24/7.

Well, I could not say much on that matter or else I'll be bailed. There is no students' voice here. Just because he holds the tittle DEAN OF CIVIL ENGINEERING FACULTY, everyone working under him is afraid of voicing out. I dont think that is rational and obviously it is not FAIR. Okay enough about that, please.

Oh, about my roommates, Alhamdulillah they are all awesome way beyond words. Thank Allah for that, or else I'll be more homesick because I take time to blend well with strangers.

Err,talking about degree, it is seriously hectic here. Everything is super fast and i have to work more on my own. Finding extra informations on the courses I take this semester, the tutorials, the pace that I have to be in line with, those are everything that is totally different from I came from previously. I MISS ARAU so freaking bad. I miss my buddies too. Shafiqah and Afifah. It feels different without them around. But Alhamdulillah we have phones nowadays, the only thing that keeps me in touch with them. Well, I could not complaint more. That is what life is afterall.

so i've been spending my time wisely these past few weeks..finally lah kan,after 2 months of break doing nothing,now at least i've done something productive!yeay me..so my busy days start of when i went to kl,er sri kembangan actually, to bring my grandma there as she wanted to visit her grandson having a new baby..so i brought my grandma there sbb dh takda org nk bwk dia,takkan nk let her travel alone pulak kan..so being a nice me,cewah,i tak jd pergi kerja nelson tu..konon2 berkorban sbb nk bwk tok p jumpak cicit kan..so i went there for 9 days..4 days spent dkt rumah my cousin tolong babysit my nephew n niece..now i miss them already awwww ;( kalau holiday ni makan mmg agenda utama lah kan?so now duduk rumah diam2 diet senyap2..haha..so heres some pictures yg sempat snap during my visit..

burger bakar taman equine..like omg,sedap gilaa!

nasi putih asam pedas-chawan,publika.

baby heidi is sooooo adowable suka senyum jaaa!!

adam mikhael being so proud of his 2 lamborghinies.

these 2 rascals were sooooooo freaking active walopon demam..i miss them now!mikha dh potong rambut afro dia..sayang betul!he said he wants to look handsome like daddy so he has to cut his hair short.

this is seriously a whine..yes im whining here..bukan apa,tp mcm terasa laa jugak over something..i feel like aku yg tersua-sua kalut suruh org p sana p sani..tp i dont know org tu suka ke tak diarahkan ke sana ke sini..tp kalau dh smua jenis buat tak tau ja,so siapa nk menggerakkan kan?so i played my part,contacting everybody to arrange for a meeting sbb kan dh lama tak jmpk catching up n such..n ada jgk org tu ckp dh lama tak jmpk si polan,nk jmpk si polan ni..n i did play my part to gather everyone kan..not once not twice,dh banyak kali ok!!so bila dh jd mcm ni, aku dh malas laa nk arrange apa2 pon lepas ni..n about the backpacking trip tu pon im not gonna take my part dah..dh penat hoping for something that is not gonna happen..xpa,ada rezeki nnt aku backpack lain even without you guys pon kan..xpa laa jgk even mimpi tak jd kenyataan pon drpd rasa down mcmni..its okay..thers always next time,tp im not ever gonna lead that 'next time'..find me when u guys have done discussing..im tired of being org tengah..like seriously!

tadi p pacific dgn mak saja jalan2 mak nk beli tudung..lepas tu p beli air dekat nelsons tu then nmpak ada iklan jawatan kosong..saja laa ringankan mulut tanya kak tu nk pakai org bila?then trus dia ckp,adik mai esok laa..boleh??amboi kak ni,tak menyempat betul..HAHA..terkejut aku tiba2 nk kena p keja esok kan..then aku pon ckp laa kat kak tu,esok tak boleh,15 ni boleh laa..haa then trus kak tu ckp ok,mai keja pkul 1..

haa cmtu jaa aku dpt keja..haha..alhamdulillah laa..yg lawaknya,gaji pon aku tak tanya berapa..nasib laa,jnji aku tak boring duduk rumah..kalau boleh insyaAllah nk keja 2 bulan smpai tgh bulan 8 ni which means before raya..lepas tu nk p jalan2 backpack with friends..insyaAllah,moga2 Allah permudah segala..amin ya rob!

my life has turned up side down for the past few days.my mind is not really at the state of normal..the thought of him keeps bothering my nights..i dont know why but i keep relating things i do or things i saw with him..everything i see through my days are always related to him or things i've done with him..i feel like knocking my head on the wall so that the thought is gone, but i know it never will.what has gotten into me,really? i dont like this kind of things..i can even relate random cars i saw on the road with him.oi,this is bullshit!i hope this weird feelings will fade soon. yes, the sooner the better.im tired of thinking about him to my sleep..

td belek2 folder gmbar yg ada dekat dalam external..lps tu terjumpak gmbar zaman part 3 UiTM..ok tu zaman paling rindu sekali..zaman rempit naik moto dari arau smpai kangar semata-mata nk makan kfc sbb kfc xdak lg dekat arau time tu..n of course lah bukan aku yg merempit sbb aku ni penakut bawak moto walaupun ada lesen..aku pon tak faham mcm mana aku lulus lesen moto dgn sekali test saja..HAHA..mesti laa my dear shafiqah yg rempit.aku naik blakang je..hehehe..rempit bersama skuter ego KCS warna merah!sanggup rempit smpai ke kangar semata-mata nak makan je..lepastu msa the first ever SECRET RECIPE in PERLIS bukak dkt kangar pon kami rempit jugak just to eat chocolate lava!!gila tak gila..sanggup rempit about 20 minutes just to eat!ohh rindunyaaaaa zaman naik moto dulu2..

ok dah.tu je nk ckp sebenarnya.tp malu nk ckp depan2..hik hik hik *sepak muke sendiri.kbye

lately i feel soooooo freaking lonely i dont even know why..i dont talk much nowadays..i can even count how many words i spoke on a particular day..i dont feel like talking and that freaks the hell out of me!!i am more to typing like what I AM DOING right now!!i spill almost every single thing i feel about anything on twitter and facebook and this blog too..i even connect with my friends through the net..who is to blame on this matter?am i becoming anti-social due to being toooooooooooo attached to social network sites??

bila dekat rumah ada wifi and masing2 terperuk dlm bilik masing2 tak keluar2 dah unless for food,mcmni laa jadinya..ckp dgn mak hari2 pon boleh kira dgn jari berapa patah perkataan yg keluar daripada mulut ni..haih..i dont want this to happen.like seriously, i dont want!i want my life like what i had when i was small, when i was in school, when i was with my friends living under the same roof..i dont like being who i am today.seriously i dont!

my current life revolves around no one but myself, my sister and my parents..the only time i communicate with my mom is when we are in the car, either me fetching her from school or whenever she asked me to bring her somewhere she wanted to..as for my dad, xpayah ckp laa..mmg plg byk ckp pon time nk suruh aku bangun pagi n breakfast ja..n ptg2 time dia nk suruh aku sapu smpah or beli makanan..tu jaa..kakak aku yg sorang tu,LAGIIILAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA susah even nk tgk muka pon..balik kerja terus terperuk dlm bilik..hmm me? the rest of time is spent in my room..kalau tak online, baca novel..lps mgrb,terus duduk dlm bilik tak keluar2 dh smpai esok pg pulak!

thats how pathetic my life is right now..tp bersyukur sbb masih lagi bernafas ni bumi tuhan ni..ALHAMDULILLAH..xsabar nk tunggu mak cuti sekolah sbb boleh p jalan2 so that i can communicate with REAL people..not virtually like i always did nowadays!!i want my normal life back, please!

i seriously don't know how to put this into words..i don't know since when it struck but it did struck and never wanted to leave..even if it leaves, the scars will always be there..

insyaALLAH

it is such a happy happy happy news and i am soooooooo freaking happy for my cousin as she was offered to pursue her degree in ACCA from Dublin School of Business..alhamdulillah.i am so proud  of her but at the same time, i am sooooo freaking envious!she is of my age and just finished her diploma in accounting in kolej universiti insaniah,just an ordinary college but mungkin Allah bagi rezeki kt dia, and Allah bukak jalan untuk dia ke overseas..Alhamdulillah for her..

TAPI, a big fat massive disappointment for me as i was a bit late to fill the forms to several uni overseas sbb kebanyakkannya dah smpai deadline..xpa, mungkin kalau aku yg dpt pergi sana, maybe aku tak boleh survive alone..iman pon xberapa nak tebal mana, jd mungkin Allah tak bg rezeki untuk ke sana lg sebab aku belum bersedia mental,fizikal,emosi dan yg paling penting IMAN belum penuh di dada..siapa tau kalau aku dpt kesana sekarang, mungkin aku tak boleh score or jd terpesong (Nauzubillah hi min zalik) kan? insyaAllah Allah maha pemurah Ya Rahman Ya Rahim, mungkin rezeki aku datang dlm bentuk lain..mungkin Allah simpan untuk alam pekerjaan nanti..atau, rezeki dari segi suami mithali mungkin..siapa kita to predict these kind of rezeki kan? insyaAllah, put your trust on HIM..you have HIM even if you never obey HIM..rezeki, jodoh, ajal maut semua tu rahsia ALLAH..so PRAY AND NEVER STOP PRAYING!

it's already MAY..cepat betul masa jalan kan?sedar tak sedar,dah sebulan lebih aku duduk rumah doing nothing..wasting my time almost doing nothing but online..as i said before,bukan takmau kerja..nk kerja tp rsa mcm berat nk kerja sbb kalau kerja nnt my time will be limited..aku rsa smua org mcm aku kan?x suka kena kongkong and can't do what you WANT to do..betul tak??dah penat fikir pasal bnda ni..tak jugak selesai selesai..tp at least, i've make my move..dh try jual online..tp baru sikit je customer..tp syukurlah kan drpda takdak lgsung..hmm bnda ni kan takes time?hopefully lama2 nnt terjual laa smua bnda2 yg aku nk jual tu kan?insyaallah, kalau nawaitu ikhlas,ALLAH permudahkan jalan kan??insyaallah!!hwaiting nabilah!!

i know i'm tad late for this but whatever it is, syukur ALHAMDULILLAH thank you ALLAH!

that is the only thing i can say for now..truly unexpected..ALHAMDULILLAH :))

how and what you feel like when he finds you ONLY when he's bored?

i dont start..and i'm not waiting and clinging on him either..but i know he'll find me ONLY when he has nothing to do or in other word, when he's bored to death..

i'm not hoping for him to text me every day and every night..no,definitely not.

but i dont like to be used and feel like being used..erghhh,better not having any conversation senang cerita.

ish susah laa kalau asal on laptop ja,trus muncul muka tu..dah tukar desktop background, muncul pulak dkt homepage facebook!erghhh,takkan nk unfriend pulak??nnt terus tak boleh tgk muka dia..

merepek apa ni nabilah??move on will you?

i feel like finding a job but i dont seem to trust myself on doing anything related to what i've learnt in uni..

rsa nk kerja, tp at the same time, tak puas lagi lazing around at home doing nothing..terfikir nk kerja,tp terfikir jugak nnti kalau kerja, i will no longer have the time to do everything i like..semua benda akan restricted due to time constraint..i want to travel the world..even if its not overseas pon, dalam negeri pon belum habes jelajah lg..nnt kalau kerja,i wont have time for this..cuti smpai bulan 9 insyaallah..that means, i have about 4 months plus to be free from any academic things..lepas tu,i'll be on the run again for 2 and a half years more..then baru boleh masuk alam pekerjaan sebenar, insyaallah.

by that time,i wont be having time like this to enjoy myself lg dah..nnt priority mesti laa study sbb good grades equal to good job equal to good payment equal to good quality of life, insyaallah..everything is directly proportional to study!reality check!org tua2 ckp bersusah-susah dahulu, bersenang-senang kemudian..

hmm, now that i have time to be free from everything academic, i feel like i just want to be at home doing nothing except helping mom to do house chores..but at the same time, rasa mcm anak tak guna pulak sbb dah umur 21 still asking money from mom n dad..ish entahlaa..im torn apart..online business is the only way i can see yg boleh buat aku dok saja kat rumah tp at the same time, income pon masuk..TAPI, what should i sell?hmmm..lets just wait n see how everything turns out nnt..

16 April 2012.

crazy day i had.watched BATTLESHIP twice in a day!

i watched with my friends in the morning and when i got back home,i told my dad it was awesome and suddenly he gave me RM50 and asked me to buy tickets for two.at first i thought he was going with my mom but then he said, " no, im going with you, adik!"

hahaha..same movie within 11 hours!thats crazy!

i want to paint my room with bright colour like RED or LIME GREEN or probably YELLOW.but my mom said its kinda stressing to be in a room of bright colour and you could possibly hard to fall asleep in bright room.my room is currently of baby blue.i want something to stand out and distinguish.i cant think of any colour but RED!

hurmmm, keep aside about paint.i think i wont get the chance to change the colour anytime soon.so i browse around the net searching for the ideas of wall decorations.my wall is so plain with nothing on it.i want to hang something but i dont want to drill any holes and i dont have any extra money for something costly..i stumbled across some wall decorations ideas..they kinda give me some ideas to decorate my plain baby blue wall..i guess the cheapest way is to hang pictures without frame randomly..well well, i have more than plenty of time to fill up my wall..heee,just so you wait!

there's a list of to-do things running on my mind.
i am dying to watch the vow, but its not aired in alor star,the nearest is penang :(

i want to watch the hunger game as they said it is kinda awesome however, it is not aired in alor star either..

7 petala cinta is another story which is kinda attractive but i dont have companion to go n catch this movie..

wrath of the titans is the only story left of choice BUT who wanna come n join me?ok now i wish i have twin sister..hadoi

why is it if you are unpleasant with somebody or something, you have to post it on ur social network sites?

twitter, fb, blogger, tagged or what ever were not meant to be the medium of fight.

badmouthing people without stating his/her name is still badmouthing right?

that is called sarcastic if you dont know what sarcasm is..

and please do note, fb/twitter/blog reflect who you really are..

if tak puas hati,face to face is the thing!stop being coward.

*peringatan untuk diri sendiri jugak

im done with diploma in civil engineering.

finally its a wrap!

i am sooooooo gonna miss my bunch of friends..my bunch of crazy friends..

those who had gone through thick n thin with me..

those who stick together comes rain or high tide..

seriously,it is freaking sad to be parted..

its true,saying goodbye is the hardest thing to do.

but every start will always has an end.

so here we are today, parting ways and bidding goodbyes..

knowing you guys seriously are the best thing ever happened in my life..

even thanks for gazzillion times would never be enough for all the good things you guys have showered me with.

thank you pipah, wahida, pikah, maher, ten, myna, an, bayun, sham, cudin, min, minah, nisa, cida, amin, aisyah, ummi, nury, and a whole lot more!

i love you guys LILLAH.

counting days.

i have mixed feelings now.the excitement of ditching every academic-related thingy and the sadness of parting with my buddies.

plus my procrastination of not studying despite of the finals is making me weak inside too.

but yeah, half glass of water can be either be half full n half empty at the very same time right?

and having the date reaching by too soon, my thought every night is always 'i should have done that, it should have been that'

everything i do seems not right and never enough.

home sweet home

i'm back home in Alor Setar for study week..i know i am supposed to study but being at home is such a pure bliss i even forgot i'll have my first paper on this coming 14th!so, since i am home, i gotta to spend my time with my family..i've been sooo super manja and annoyed mummy that i asked her to cook for me for gazzilion times and she finally bengang with my super anoyying manja-ness..HAHA..sorry mak, i just miss your cooking soo much!so here are some pictures of my super-holiday-lazing-around-doing-nothing activities..oh not to forget, i have to force myself with ETR and i am almost insane to munch the facts!grrr..

vain..focus at the back.see how freak i am with handbags..trust me there are a lot more.

new bedsheet with favourite bantal lembu.

gulai ketam yummmeyhhh

finally, scrumptious home-cooked food i've been longing for!

see how ETR is torturing me!i am almost insane!

its ending too soon.

i wish i have more time to spend with you guys but of course without having to do all those academic things and presentations!

no more lepak2 mlm after class lepas ni..no more convoi pg jitra tgk wayang, no more lepak sembang2 merapu..no more bowling..no more masak2 n mkn2 rmai..no more birthday surpise and baling telur plus tepung..no more bwk kereta laju2 sbb nk pg bubuh myk since the indicator is already blinking..no more study group dkt hep..no more lepak2 blkang whiteboard dkt lab msa kelas sir samsuri..no more buat design smbil mkn cucur pisang dkt TD..banyak lg no more sebenarnya..but toooooo many and tooooooooooooooo sad to be listed here..hmmm, whats left is chatting je lah dkt fb..no longer the same anymore anyhow..

i'll be missing you guys.SERIOUSLY!

of babies and kiddos :))

seems like facebook and blogger are more alluring than the big fat thick construction management book!i am suppose to digest the facts of contracts,tenders bla bla bla and the list goes on..but sadly, my left brain doesnt want to cooperate with me now..I have almost-reaching-zero interest on factual reading.typical left brain person!

so back to the actual topic, i love babies and kids!yes i have an enormous interest on babies and kids.i just cant get enough of them..rasa nk picit2 gomoi2 jaa those babies..hikhik..why out of nowhere im babbling about babies?sbb i was browsing through the folders in my lappy (biasalah dasar manusia pemalas study) and realised that i have quite a number of pictures with babies and kids!that shows how i love babies and kids kan?teheeee

*see how pemalas i am..2 posts within 3 hours!great!procrastination never fail to be my forte!!

this is my perception of beauty with brain!

i love the way she delivers her dakwah..using the medium in a good way..attracting people with her awesome thoughts in islamic way.im officially her fan!i love you already,sister!and damn it,she's ONLY 17!!17,people, SEVENTEEN!!

its frustrating enough when you are on the peak of something, then it just goes off.

THIS IS SUCH A MAJOR TURN OFF, man!

i was in my own little world before this.not knowing of what is happening out of my circle.i was busy complaining and whining of every little problem i was facing, not realising that my problems are just like a drop of water that fall onto the mighty ocean. i am 21, but what i did to lessen the burden of society is just plain nothing. NOTHING.

it touches my heart to see those little 'khalifah' being slaughtered for no reasons..

it is such a heartache to see those innocent kids being murdered without sympathies..

its a heart-breaking moment for them to see their parents being killed in front of their eyes,to know that they will no longer be able to see their parents anymore..

its heart-wrenching to see people of evil trying to be on top through killing and murdering with no mercy..humanity is draining just for the sake of satisfaction.

WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE THINKING???

i guess this is one of the way for me to express my hatred to those people whom their hearts are shrouded with darkness and evil.i have no billions of ringgit to donate, nor i am influential enough to ask those powerful LEADERS to stop all the war.and i am neither strong enough to join the JIHAD (i wish i am)..so SYRIANS, my prayers will always be with you guys..

DOA ADALAH SENJATA UTAMA UMAT ISLAM.

may peace be upon us.AMIN.

well said!

*iwishicouldtalklikeherandspeaklikehertoo*

the awkward moment when you realized who you are to him.

its funny when you are not with them, they started to talk bad things about you.

and people are just the SAME.

seems like ages since i last ramble about whats happening in my life..but everything seems to end up in drafts..trust me i have tonnes of things to spill but so little time to scribble things out..i recognize that i seem to have issues with my thoughts..yeah i know i've been yapping about that for gazzillion times but if someone ever to ask me what is the exact problem im facing now,i guess cerita smpai tahun depan pon tak habis,dasar manusia tak tahu bersyukur mcm ni lah..keep whining about every single thing tanpa sedar there are people on the other side of the world sana who are facing more severe problems!

hmmm..muhasabah diri sikit cik nabilah!

rasa mcm hebat pulak boleh main lukis2 dkt power point..hehehe.. LAME!yes i know..org dh lama berkurun terer buat bnda ni,aku baru tekedek kedek..hee whatevsssssss!im proud of myself..CLAP CLAP CLAP!

*this is column, FYI!

HASIL KERJA

nah kau!after 7 hours of typing and drawing!finally..

*aku mmg tuli excel sbb tu lama gila nk type 1 beam pon..hehe

credits to pipah n pkah sbb tolong aku type the rest 3 beams..adoi!thank you guys :))

this CNY break has been the most useful break so far. i've been using my time wisely to do all the workload..well,not all obviously,but at least i managed to practically do them halfway.

sadly, i didnt manage to catch up with my friends and we didnt even had an outing together pon..ahh blame the workload yg mcm selori tu plus the short break!

im all stuffed with ETR!rsa mcm nk jerit rawr ja kt muka lecturer ni sbb today he said to do things this way,but then next week ckp mcm lain pulak..ada je bnda kena tmbh sana sini..n lepas consultation,terus rsa mcm i've been spending my precious time on the first draft for NOTHING!NOTHING!repeat after me people,NOTHING!semua 1st draft tu mcm kena buat lain the whole from 1.0 until 5.3..haish sabar nabilah sabar..kalau tak merungut,insyaallah dpt pahala..tp....ahhh enough2..redha je.

n now lets get serabut with DESIGN..err subject kegemaran haruslah save the best for last!malam ni lets be nocturnal so that we can hand in the beam tomorrow!yeay sukenyeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

my eyes were glued on this little pinky thing i want soo bad!but sadly, i'm broke.it costs rm2658 for me to be the proud owner!what the..rabak poket aku!

i was thinking to let go of my baby nikon to make way for this one tp sayang lah pulak!the d3000 has its own sentimental value..i waited for one and a half years to get my precious baby nikon, so i wont let it go for anything..lgpon, that nikon dah mcm benchmark for my achievement in uni..i guess the pink baby will just have to wait :((

the awkward moment when . . . .

i'm gonna mark my 2012 calender with a huge blood-red color on today's date.along with the CNY theme, blood-red should explain thoroughly how my day worked out!

i fell straight on my butt today while i was bowling!YES! I FELL HARD ON MY BUTT IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS TODAY!it was embarrassing at first.i was thinking to fake a faint but you guys never did laugh on me so yeah, i just got up and with the littlest guts left in me, i faked a smile and tried to make fun out of the incident.

err, put aside the embarrassing part, I REALLY DID HAD FUN!when thinking of how short the time left for us to be together, i feel like pausing the time and let us all be like this forever.seriously, you guys were like brothers and sisters to me.

today has been a long day..and spending my day with you guys, i felt the time has been cut short!it never seems enough when i hang out with you guys.seriously, i had fun today!thank you guys for dragging me into this :)) <3 <3 <3

i was about to spill something here but the ideas just fade away!

typical me who forgets things easily..as sudden as it comes,it goes straight away too..

i guess thats why one of my friend calls me Dorry..well,a character from Finding Nemo, the blue fish that has short term memory,she forget things easily but luckily she never forgot her own name!

i wanted to upload some pictures in my facebook account but sadly,as soon as i hit the upload button,the internet will disconnect automatically..WHY IN THE WORLD IS THAT??i've tried like gazillion times but still,the internet will automatically disconnected!that is such a bitch!err,scratch that please..i promised to myself not to use harsh words anymore *if possible*

i kinda have issues with my inner self lately..my mind,my thoughts and my hearts dont seem to synchronize..they keep arguing with themselves i feel like screaming my lungs out!

*ah benci dkt sini pon takboleh uplod gmbr jugak even dah bejanggut tunggu..GRRRRRR

OFFICIALLY LEGAL!

at 21 years old, theres just nothing of me to be proud off..

still the same old me.nothing more nothing less..

BUT, i guess i'm gonna make more out of this.

i'm gonna make my parents proud of me because of my achievements in life.

now, i practically have everything a girl ever wanted i guess.i should have been thankful for everything that i own now in terms of my wants and needs.

i have a great bunch of friends here in Arau..they really made 'my day' wonderful..and thank u for the surprise guys!nasib baik tak kena tepung plus telur..kalau tak,bebai setahun!HAHAHA

thanks for the memories.i dont know whether we will meet again next time or not..these are the memories i'll treasure my whole life.thanks for completing the hollow parts of my life like the pieces of jigsaw puzzle.

what a 'great' way to start off 2012.

if this is the price i have to pay, okay i'll bear this.

i know even a thousand of sorry will never ever make up for that.but the thing is, no one else listens to me better than they do and unfortunately he was there at that very time.

i know this is no one else's but my own terrible mistake.i should've kept everything to myself.

so buddy, i am SORRY.