i dont like this kinda feeling..i cant control my temper.i got agitated and flustered most of the times when i talk about something that i know i cant have it in any possible way.i sometimes feel like going somewhere where there is just me,without anyone else that could say NO when i feel like doing something or going somewhere.when i act rudely or speak harsh words (to be exact),i feel like its a satisfaction to let it all out in an improper way of etiquette.and when im done,i'll feel guilty and tend to keep it to myself without any attempt to say sorry to them who i've thrown harsh words to.the problem here is,i usually let everything out to my loved ones,my mom is always the one.thats the real problem because she is my mother.
people who knew me well,my friends esp,might not know about this as i dont usually talk about the thing with them.they just dont know me wholly as i kinda keep little something myself.i dont tell them everything except my mother.they might say that i am soft spoken and rarely speak harsh.but thats just my alter ego and i dont like it.i am trying to build my patience.oh god,i need some help here.lets make a new fresh starts with this coming 2010.i need to change!i HAVE to change!
fingers-crossing for a prosperous and joyous life coming ahead!
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